In case you didn’t know, Fast Five comes out over the weekend. Here’s a list of things that I have gleaned about the movie from what I have seen so far. So here goes.
–There’s a slight chance that the collection of acting talent that has been assembled may not be winning any Oscars this time around. Just saying. Graaaag. Me punch stuff. Dude.
-It has been like 10 years since the first one of these movies AHHHHH WHEN DID I GET OLD???
-The first movie was actually semi serious and gritty. True story.
-The various crews have gathered together for ONE LAST JOB. Somehow I doubt it. Every other Fast and The Furious Movie has featured one last job. In fact, Ocean’s 11 did three last jobs, and Jack Bauer has done at least 6 seasons worth of them. One last job may be an exaggeration.
-I’ve seen rocket launchers in the trailer. Yup. There is gonna be rockit lawn chairs, ya’ll.
–The Rock is massive. Oh holy cow. In the scene that I’ve seen him fighting with Vin Diesel, he makes Vin Diesel look puny. That man is ridiculously huge, and that beard is terrifying.
-Um, the chase through a Brazilian favela looks exactly like it did in Call Of Duty: Modern Warfare 2. And that level irritated me.
-If thou hast a nice car, it shall be smashed.
-The scenery is looking actually very pretty.
-If you look in the distance, you can see Michael Bay smashing through security in the desperate attempt to trigger all explosions by himself.
Even though this movie is going to be ridiculous, I’m still excited to see it. It should be a heck of a ride. Graaag vroom vroom aaaaahhhh grrr.